20-year Memorial of 9/11

“As fish are caught in a cruel net … so people are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them.” Ecclesiastes 9:12    

Doesn’t God care that evil strikes so furiously and without anyone restraining it?

Think about the barbarianism that has plagued humanity for thousands of years.  Because of it, nations have risen and nations have fallen.  Have we outgrown barbaric behavior because we’re all so sophisticated now?  Beheadings on American soil since 9/11 (among other atrocities) prove that it’s a good idea for you to contemplate these weighty matters.

It was another ordinary, lovely morning that day, September 11, 2001, when I went to work at “New York Center” (ZNY, Air Route Traffic Control Center).  A shift worker, my Saturday overtime civil service promised another grand in the bank, that memorialized day which was a Tuesday for most of you.  By 9/11, I had socked away over 100-grand in my 401k, had my dream home, a youthful & lovely wife, beautiful children … and an array of very dark behaviors too.

I was helpless to stop the devastating blow; we had no control to turn away the evil time which had fallen upon the nation.  Within a week or two, Anne Graham Lotz said on TV that America had willingly turned God away, and that we therefore shouldn’t expect His hand (power) of protection as a nation [when evil does come].

As for me, I began having nightmares that night (before PTSD was “a thing”).  Within two years, I had lost my dream job, the 401k, the home, and my wife – we had divorce paperwork signed, sealed & paid-for, all but delivered.  I was suicidal, with a plan and looking for the right moment.

Like Ecc. 9:12, Jesus promised that storms would come to you and me in this life, “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” Matthew 7:24-27

By these Words, Jesus had tried to insulate me from the evil attack.  He wanted to make me stormproof but never found my interest or cooperation in the partnership for my well-being, before 9/11.  I had been in a one-way relationship with God, “You love me, and I will do whatever I want.  Thank You, Lord!”  While I hate that evil had to come for me to wake from my delusion, I am eternally grateful to God for preserving me through the great crash and for extracting me from the ash heap of my very best efforts.  I praise God for His mercy and His faithfulness in that He gave me the opportunity to repent – not everyone was so fortunate on 9/11.  We offer special honor to our friend, Rosa, a servant in the National Guard who lost her life trying to help.

In October 2003, during our misery, my wife and I individually accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior (not a joint decision, but how it unfolded).  There would be no suicide or divorce; instead, we found a new perspective and, with it, inspiration to rebuild together, “under God.”

People get ready!

“A God who is uncontainable, uncontrollable, and unpredictable is, well, scary to minds that crave control, uniformity, security and conventional ways of life.  The truth is that if those characteristics seem scary to human minds, then God is scary.  He is God – fully supernatural and all-powerful and all-knowing at all times and in all places, without apology or deference to our opinions” (“Experiencing His Presence,” by Tommy Tenney).

In light of His imminent return to judge the living and the dead with finality, Jesus taught us to “Occupy till I come” in a passage about how to manage one’s life and assets toward increase and not diminishing returns (Luke 19:11-27).  As He gave me/us a unique perspective through my experience on 9/11, so He has given us an individualized perspective regarding how to “occupy.” His Spirit of love drove out unhealthy fear and created in us a healthy reverence for Him, convincing us that we were no longer relying on the world’s shaky economy but that we had been qualified by our Heavenly Father to share in the inheritance of the saints, transferred out of the world’s hopeless demise (w/its dominion of darkness) and into the Kingdom of His beloved Son (Col. 1:12-14).  We learned that following Jesus – keeping in step with Him – meant that we were wiser than our enemies (Psa. 119:98). 

It’s time for you and me to present to God that which has been “…founded on the rock,” surrendering all that we have and all that we are to the flames of His supreme, loving control … 18 years of Jesus’ Life through us:

Plus, some healing testimonies via Pastor Gil (click to read).

Above you see record of Jesus building His Kingdom through our lives offered to Him, as sacrifices:  Foundational support to two orphanages, letter-writing campaigns to men in maximum security prison, feeding the homeless (spiritually & temporally), preaching the Gospel … and so on.

In our endeavors to “Occupy till I come” we have found Christ partnering with us, step by step!  To His credit, we have lost track of the souls saved.  We have also seen cancers healed, marriages / families saved, abundant finances provided for those we pray for, generational curses removed from homes, our own children experience God’s Presence & Activities (testifying to His grace) and wonder upon wonder upon wonder – routinely.  On the flip side, we have also regularly seen unspeakable hardness and cruelty in response to the offer of God’s help, Jesus, breaking our hearts in indescribable ways.  We always need His help to keep our eyes fixed on Him.

Some of the most powerful moves of God we have seen came as “harsh” messages were being delivered.

The year our missionary journey began, I ministered to a disaster-stricken crowd that was growing riotous after Hurricane Katrina (2005).  I didn’t know what else to do/say, except to rebuke them, “…We are a nation of whores, chasing our own unholy desires without restraint!  We are killing 3,000 to 4,000 innocent babies per day!  Do you think those who died in the storm were more wicked than the rest of us?!  No, but unless you repent, you too will perish!…”

Where do you go from there, trying to arrest a rowdy crowd with God’s love?  I simply looked up, toward heaven, and lifted my hands, beginning to pray aloud in front of everyone, “Father, we do praise You for being in control of all things, not even a sparrow falls to the ground apart from Your will.  We thank You that by Your control we are still alive today, so that we may seek you and learn of your Goodness.  Please, God, provide [our need now] …”  At that, I lowered my hands to learn that a miracle had taken place while I prayed.  Everyone present (at least a 100 people) witnessed the event, breaking down in tears and repentance, asking God’s forgiveness and receiving Salvation through faith in Jesus.  The amazing harvest of souls came after the most intense trial accompanied by a butt chewin’.

In early 2008, I was seeking God when I heard His Voice (John 10:27), “America has mistaken the grace given her.”

In October 2010, I was accosted by two spiritual beings, having been summoned to the Throne of the Almighty through a vision – it was terrifying!  The sins of America had risen to the highest heaven, permeating a place of purity with the foulest mocking, arrogance and disdain toward the only One who can save.  All I could do was hit the deck with my hands covering my ears, trying to shut out the horrifically unjust sounds, and exclaiming, “I’m sorry, Lord!  I’m sorry, Lord!  I’m sorry, Lord!”  Within two months, a church-plant in North Dakota was initiated when God opened a door for me, “If only they could hear about the Blood of the Lamb, they would repent,” my heart had responded to the dramatic encounter.

In November 2012, I saw (John 16:13) the nation split in two, with a great chasm in between, ushering in what some may call a technocracy.  It was presented to me as totalitarianism enacted upon each individual citizen in America.

In October 2013, I was sent to humbly chew out a crowd for mismanaging the wealth God had given them.  During the call to repentance, I said, “Let me share a little bit of Scripture with you, from Psalm 29.  The God of glory thunders, right now!”  As the words of emphasis “right now” crossed my lips, either lightning struck the building or thunder clapped immediately overhead, literally shaking the entire facility and shaking away unbelief from every soul within it.  God received the reverence He is due, that day.    

In 2016, during the time that Corridors in the Sky was published, I began experiencing a ferocious and relentless attack on my physical body.  This endured with growing difficulties through 2019, testing my mind severely and eventually tapering off but leaving me with what appears to be permanent physical damage.  Right about now, I feel like a Jonah, appearing to my audience maimed and beaten, with a fiery Word / command to repent “while you still can.”  The grace of God upon the words of Corridors in the Sky has helped countless people (already) to repent in their relationships, finances and habitual practices, drawing nearer to God and His plan for their lives.  “Thank You, Jesus.”

Psa 119:67 Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.
Psa 119:71 It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.

My Spring 2020 Update on this blog said, “…I saw a horse running, in the Spirit, in January (before corona left China, supposedly). When I sought the Lord I was utterly arrested by reading of the horses in Zech. 6 & Rev. 6, war out of the celestial realms … I’m thinking I saw the virus running unrestrained – like a strong horse.  It’s that, or straight-up war at hand…” In relation to that post, please consider, “…former president of the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS) Dr. Lee Merrit explain her belief that America is currently facing what appears to be biological warfare…” via this video: click to view.


Our ministry’s donations were down a mere $300 over the entire difficult year of 2020, compared to donations in 2019.  Thank you for your faithful love expressed to God through our hands. We hear God saying that He created “the Church” for His own pleasure and that through its Head, Jesus Christ, the Church will flourish with stability and increase through the most difficult times.  We are seeing His ministry of compassion and evangelism function through our lives, locally, since moving to Colorado in 2019.  It’s past time to watch your mouths, Christians (Isaiah 39)!  Your social media posts are being weaponized to use against you – even pro-life views have been described by America’s government in the last 24 hours as “an extreme attack” on their agenda (with 62 million innocent babies killed so far).  They have declared war against those they view as “political extremists,” maybe even this internet post. 

Psa 10:8  He sits in ambush in the villages; in hiding places he murders the innocent. His eyes stealthily watch for the helpless;
Psa 10:10  The helpless are crushed, sink down, and fall by his might. 
Psa 10:11  He says in his heart, “God has forgotten, he has hidden his face, he will never see it.” 
Psa 10:12  Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted. 
Psa 10:13  Why does the wicked renounce God and say in his heart, “You will not call to account”? 
Psa 10:14  But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless. 
Psa 10:15  Break the arm of the wicked and evildoer; call his wickedness to account till you find none. 
Psa 10:16  The LORD is king forever and ever; the nations perish from his land. 
Psa 10:17  O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear 
Psa 10:18  to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more. 

Please don’t be afraid to speak up in the Name of Jesus; only, first ensure you are following Him in discharging your message and not your own heated will.  He is a Shield to those who seek Him, aspiring to abide with Him.

Our largest anticipated expense at the moment is replacing the furnace / heat in the church building in North Dakota (after spending $500 for maintenance last month), estimated at $6,000 to $7,000.  We hope to do this as soon as the thaw of Spring 2021 allows, as the Lord provides.  God has told us that in their misery, people will begin to earnestly seek His face.  People get ready!

As witnesses, we testify, God is well-able to bring beauty from ashes.

Heb 12:4  In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
Heb 12:5  And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 
Heb 12:6  For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 
Heb 12:7  It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 
Heb 12:8  If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 
Heb 12:9  Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 
Heb 12:10  For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 
Heb 12:11  For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.  

Heb 12:22  … you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, 
Heb 12:23  and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, 
Heb 12:24  and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. 
Heb 12:25  See that you do not refuse him who is speaking. For if they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape if we reject him who warns from heaven. 
Heb 12:26  At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” 
Heb 12:27  This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. 
Heb 12:28  Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, 
Heb 12:29  for our God is a consuming fire. 

Heb 10:19  Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, 
Heb 10:20  by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh,
Heb 10:21  and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 
Heb 10:22  let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 
Heb 10:23  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 
Heb 10:24  And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 
Heb 10:25  not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. 
Heb 10:26  For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 
Heb 10:27  but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. 
Heb 10:28  Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 
Heb 10:29  How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? 
Heb 10:30  For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” 
Heb 10:31  It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. 
Heb 10:32  But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, 
Heb 10:33  sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. 
Heb 10:34  For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. 
Heb 10:35  Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 
Heb 10:36  For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. 
Heb 10:37  For, “Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; 
Heb 10:38  but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” 
Heb 10:39  But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.   (red font mine for emphasis)

Ezr 8:22, “…The hand of our God is for good on all who seek him, and the power of his wrath is against all who forsake him.”

Send prayer requests or love-offerings to

Bethesda (or, Totman)
P.O Box 25
La Veta, CO  81055

Or give online at:

Part of your harvest includes receiving a tax-benefit receipt
in January 2022 for your total 2021 giving through Bethesda.

Visit us and/or email us online at:
(order your book here!)

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